i'm pretty much at a block right now. it is horrible. i have been having bouts of omg-let's-whip-out-that-sketchbook-and-draw-endlessly but they only last so long. in the past when i draw, it brings me to a different place where nothing clouds my mind, honestly. it was the best feeling ever. my mind was absolutely blank and i was completely focused. but seems like recently it's not the same anymore because my thoughts are louder than i can handle so the more i draw the more cluttered i feel. i always tell myself to flush out everything-especially trying to be perfect, which is the first thing that brings me down. because once it is not "pretty" i immediately lose energy. so with the start of a new sketchbook i wanted to just be experimental. maybe i haven't been experimental enough i.e. making a mess with colours hence i'm not enjoying myself enough... it is annoying cos i've always been doing pen and pencil in book (hassle bringing colouring materials around and stacked pages don't exactly agree with seeping paint/bleeding/etc) so it's like once i've finally created something decently satisfying i try so hard to reproduce it and if it is not "up to mark" i lose energy..............................hmm.

also, i've been less inspired than i used to be upon observing new works. now i try so hard to replicate instead of putting my own twist on things. well ok that rarely happens but i used to try. and now i don't anymore.

ahhhh i need to search deep.