i was supposed to be assembling outfits but gwen distracted me haha.
so after i got back from work yesterday, i thought i'd read my diary again for some odd reason, idk maybe it subconsciously helps. thing is, i couldn't find them. either my parents stole them to read or i hid them in a place so discreet i can't even recall where. i like how things were less cluttered like say, 2 years ago or so. i was very like, "in the zone", knowing what i want, having what i needed, you know that feeling?
so when i couldn't find my diaries i turned to my old planners. i love the cluttered doodles and how i had too little space and too many things going on. and most of all, the nonsense my friends wrote in there. such as vibhu who shamelessly reserved 5 pages for his nonsense/ attempts at doodling (haha still love you lah). i realised i miss the way i doodled and wrote in those little spaces, it felt like i expressed myself so much more? cos now i'm semi-ashamed that my current planner is full of korean names that i can't even recognise half the time so they're just organised shapes.
like children, we hope.
we whisper secrets in the dark.
we hope for a fairytale,
and that in itself is enough to get us through another day.