as much as i want to change my horrendous sleep pattern, i end up falling back into it every damn weekend.
listening to a song that makes me wanna type, so i shall.
i guess it is true that this whole fangirl-ing/k-popping thing/whatever you wanna call it is rather pointless/consuming me in a way i never thought possible. and it doesn't help that i am in desperate need of a distraction. so much of me wants to know these people in person and it's ironic that kpop is the only way of getting to know them, but at the same time it is the very thing that distances me from them as a non-fangirling human being. a few minutes ago i literally wanted to delete every kpop-related video and picture in my phone (i'm still fine with music) but i was thinking how the hell i'm gonna make train rides seem shorter and waiting/queueing less of a chore since all i do is watch big bang love song on inkigayo/ love in the ice (which makes me feel like a crumpled piece of paper). my life.
this won't change in a day. uh i guess i do get extremely excited over other things like clothes but of course that is more damaging to my pocket than kpop will ever be because i'm not a merchandise/cd/dvd kind of person (thank goodness). and now that school is like ifausbiusb!!!!!!!!!^%#, the easy way out is to switch on my laptop, watch boys touch each other/dance/spazz or entertain myself with a never-ending stream of pointless .gifs (thank you tumblr, as of now i still love you very much) instead of going to boutiques.com and think about my sad/non-existent bank account and lust over a.wang stuff i will never be able to get.
circumstances.
so my point is, i need to care about the last 2 weeks of being a year 1 and get things done. because it is scaring me that i'm not scared. i need to panic.
all i can think of is seoul seoul seoul i am excited about the clothes more than anything, believe it or not. plus the fact that i will have nothing on my mind and my most challenging part of my day will be to figure out korean words and to memorise the sequence of the korean subway stations.
before i start year 2.
exchange programme is turning out to be a much bigger hassle than i expected it to be. and korea doesn't seem to be happening because there are few viscomm courses that match up i believe. and i do not want to postpone graduation.
i am trying to immerse myself in other things right now. i hope i can spend the holidays discovering good music and art. and of course producing art of my own and experimenting with a whole lot of things.
completely excited to meet up with very important people in my life and spending time with them.
it is 6am and i have no idea how i'm gonna get to sleep, presentation's in a few hours and i like what i'll be handing in, which is always good news. how i wish i could feel the same about my other submissions. oh wait, i actually care. cool. ned to wake up by 12, grab subway and get some art history done before i feel completely useless at this time, tomorrow.